Framing Letter
Learning Outcome 1:
When revising, I first begin by reading over what I have written in my rough draft. With my chosen Significant Writing Project, I revised it with my Writing Lab instructor. I read it aloud to her and then we revised it together. We first began with global revisions and she helped me strengthen the structure of my essay. First, I improved my introduction paragraph by including more information about each author that I would be referencing as I progressed with my essay. I then, expanded on the ideas that my Writing Lab instructor were very strong and could use more support in order to become stronger. The advice from Writing Lab instructor is what helped me most of all when revising this essay. As introduced by Sommers, my “philosophy” of revision is getting stronger but still has room for improvement as well. Through my sessions and learning with my Writing Lab instructor, my revision process has already improved very much throughout this semester and will continue to improve as I continue writing more writing piece throughout my college experience.
Learning Outcome 2:
I used many pieces of evidence in my chosen Significant Writing Project. I quoted, Robin Henig, Jeffrey Arnett, and Thomas King. I also used data from the American Gap Association’s website. When integrating quotes and evidence into my papers, what I found most useful were the templates included in my “They Say, I Say” course reading book. When using the evidence from the Gap Year Association’s website, I should have made my reason for citing the information more prevalent to the reader. It was not integrated as well as it could have been. I also used a quote from King which states all of his impacting life experiences which was too lengthy for my essay. By using too much of King’s words, I drew attention away from my own writing and weakened my argument. I should have summarized what the quote talked about, and then just included only the most important pieces of that quote from King. Here is a quote that I believe was very strong in my Significant Writing piece:
In Henig’s acrticle, she quotes Arnett saying, “Just as adolescence has its particular psychological profile, Arnett says, so does emerging adulthood: identity exploration, instability, self-focus, feeling in-between, and a rather poetic characteristic he calls ‘a sense of possibilities.’ A few of these, especially identity exploration, are part of adolescence too, but they take on new depth and urgency in the 20s” (200). Emerging adulthood would provide adults with this ability of exploration, right when they need it most.
I introduced the quote well by explaining that it was a quote from Jeffrey Arnett, used by Henig in her emerging adulthood article. I then did a good job of connecting the quote’s meaning to my own argument. I connect adult’s fundamental need of self-exploration with the ability to travel that they would receive from the emerging adulthood life phase.
Learning Outcomes 5 and 6:
In my chosen Significant Writing Project, I have a works cited page included. My works cited page is in MLA format. I had my Writing Lab instructor look over my works cited just to be completely sure that everything was correct. Also, after each quote or piece of data that I used, I included a citation of the source of each piece of evidence. My typical errors when it comes to local revisions are usually just small grammatical errors. I tend to usually have an abundance of run-on sentences. I usually fix these either with my Writing Lab instructor or through help from my peers during peer review.
Learning Outcome 4:
My first comment on my peer’s writing piece was that I liked his intro and that it pulled the read into his essay. I think that it is important to not only give advice to your peers but to also not hesitate to let them know what you liked as well. The peer piece that I used for my ePortfolio was Glenn’s technology essay. It was a very strong piece so it did not need too much assistance. The only thing I recommended him to change was the flow of his essay and some of his transitions, just to make it a little bit stronger.
